This post is a bit of a quick ramble – yep, lame pun intended.
On the bank holiday last week, I took a trip into Buxton to visit Poole’s Cavern, which is basically a huge old cave and has some pretty cool rock formations and archaeological history to it. After taking a tour of Poole’s Cavern I walked in the adjacent Buxton Country Park up to Solomon’s Temple View. Here it is:
I really enjoyed the walk, being mindfully present in the moment, noticing the sights on the way up and down, the flora and fauna etc. It reminded me that walking was an activity that I used to really enjoy (well, with exceptions when I was being beasted up a mountain during my time in the University Officers Training Corps). I love the challenge, the sense of achievement and I’ve always enjoyed being around impressive scenery – the drama and sense of insignificance it provides. I don’t mean insignificant in a derogatory way but as in a person who is part of something a whole lot bigger. So, I’ve decided to resurrect that passion. It’s another step in my recovery – something that gives me enjoyment, something that makes, in DBT cliche parlance, “A life worth living”.
Yesterday, I went for a walk up Mam Tor and along Rushup Edge, near Edale in the Peak District. The weather wasn’t so kind yesterday though – very windy and I was even battered by some hailstone at times. But that didn’t bother me and nor did it take away from the enjoyment. When stood atop of Mam Tor and Rushup Edge, I was again looking down and around and appreciating being alive. I can’t tell you how great and yet how odd that feels to me. I spent years trying to kill myself and could never see the point in living. I still sometimes question the point of life (in a non-suicidal fashion) but then there are moments like yesterday when it just hits you – life is most definitely worth living 🙂